27 posts tagged “crack”

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

HAVE YOU ALL SEEN NEWS' KOI NO ABO PV PREVIEW?

LLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

When you post at Friending Memes-

your life is over.

No objections.

It's really hilarious to learn that I dream of these things.

One day, in a fairytale setting, I awoke in this bed with a lot of complicated purple frills and pink lace and stuff. And- I was wearing a Disney Princess Gown. Belle's gown, in Beauty and the Beast 8D. So, I looked outside and saw Kamenashi Kazuya juggling 4 ping pong balls with 2 paddles, quite weirdly, in a Robin Hood costume of some sort, a flute dangling from his belt. XD

I called out to him and he looked at me, grinning widely from ear to ear, and waved at me in such a manner that reminded me of Sousuke in Last Friends ie 1st Episode, waiting for Michiru outside the salon. And I waved back. And he took off his hat and left it on the ground and he put both hands on either side of his face, ready to shout out something to me.

"Princess, can I come up!?"

*spoken in Japanese. *bricked* *

I nodded and got this really long strip of cloth from my dresser that contained lots of other Disney princess gowns. -.- And I threw it down and tied it on one of my bed's posts. Kame took hold of the cloth and tested it once, twice, before climbing up.

When he finally climbed up- everything changed, well- warped, if I should say so.

Kame got out his flute and cracked it open. Turns out, the flute was a cellphone. And he started dialing someone's number, he turned to me and smiled. "It's your birthday tomorrow, right? I'm calling him."

And then, I wondered.

Who is he?

I immediately thought it was the First Love that refuses to die. But then, Kame turned on his loudspeaker and made me hear what was going on. I blinked a few times because- the guy he was talking to was conversing in- Korean? Chinese? Then, Kame talked to him back in that language.

I sat down on my bed and took in the softness of the frilly laces surrounding me. Kame hung up and went for my window, tugging on the cloth until it fell down on the ground.

I stood up and looked down, shocked to see that he was gone. I shook my head and decided to forget about it as I headed downstairs to explore the castle. And magically, as I opened the door heading to the hallway outside my bedroom- I saw Kamenashi Kazuya, in a butler suit with his hair in a ponytail, in front of me.

I tilted my head to one side and nodded.

"Kazuya?" I asked, and he looked me in the eye.

Freakishly, even in dreams, I have this subconcious fangirl mind that flails when I see any JE idol.

I cleared my throat and tried to regain my composure as he moved unto me, this really horny look in his eyes. He breathed on my face and I could feel the warmth of his breath and the scent of- peppermint? He placed his right hand above me and leaned forward.

"The limo has arrived."

Lol. Ftw. Limo!?

I nodded slowly, probably very red beyond recognization and I made for the staircase, where I was surrounded by this swarm of Johnny's Juniors, everywhere, in every corner. I shook my head and made through the mass of Juniors.

They all clung to me like the Lost Boys clung on to Wendy. They laughed and frowned and moaned and whatever. *At this point, it wasn't scary, but annoying, instead.*. Somehow, aftter a few 10 minutes or so, of struggle, I managed to escape their wrath and crashed to a nearby sofa that had the Grandma Couch Print that was featured in NEWS' Kibou ~Yell~ PV. 8D

I smelled something nice beside me and I turned to look, and I saw a plate of freshly-still hot-mouth watering-seasoned-medium, I don't know- PEPPERED STEAK.

I sat up and was ready to grab the fork and knife lying on the placemat beside the plate when-

"What the hell are you doing?"

I screamed from shock, and the person screamed, too. Instinctively, I backed down on the sofa and tried to turn my head to see who it was. It wasn't Kame, lol. It was Nishikido Ryo. The thing about this dream, and why I posted it is, because Ryo was in it. 8D

I stared at him, because, apparently, in this dream, he was the stable boy that needed money and was residing at our castle to make some big shit. He was wearing this very un-stable boy like suit. WTF, RYO. 8D. and his hair was just-

awesome.

It was all gelled up and stuff, kinda like Goku's hair in Dragon Ball XD.

And, I was there, busy being mesmerized by Ryo's Dragon Ball hair when he sat down beside me and got himself comfortable, sitting on the castle's Grandma Couch. So, I continued on looking at him. Then, Barry Manilow's Mandy starts playing. @____@

He says something, but I can't hear it through Barry's singing.

"Pardon?" I said, making the volume fade.

"I said- how old are you?"

I clicked my head to one side, kinda hesitating, which made me realize Ryo's height-

And I laughed.

"How tall are you?!"

He left and I woke up.

Haha.

JE IS TH SHT.

Don't do it.

It is so- tensifying.

I didnt get caught but-

What does it feel when a teacher is hovering at least 3 seats away from you as you are writing some random RyoUchi smut fluff?

o_____O

Mom walks in on me.

I am on my bed.

Watching HANA KIMI SP WITH THE TOPLESS GUYS AND ALL.

She gets out.

I am freaked.

He.is.a.monster.

An.overly.perfumed.with.sex.pheromes.monster.

*I'm sorry. I'm just impatient.. Shonen Club X'mas SP in 1 hour*

What is wrong with me these days?

I've never been obsessed with something not related to Johnny's Entertainment before...

So it's kinda weird, ne..

Recently, I've been obsessing about the YAKUZA.

Making fanfics related to Yakuza.. starring JE guys..

Watching Yakuza stuff..

Rewatching My Boss My Hero..

Reading JE-Yakuza fics..

Watching Gokusen.. Season 1-3

-.-

This has to stop.

It's kinda weird for a girl to like something so.. violent lol.

And my Mastery Tests are coming up, too...

... that somehow, when I talk about.. things containing.. slightly explict content, that a teacher, whoever, is always near by?

O.O

CASE #1:

I was talking to two of my friends about Maou and how they should watch it..

Me: I cannot believe you two haven't seen Maou yet. Well, it's your own problem if you don't see Ohno's shower scene..

Then, at that time, we bumped into the Elementary Department's Vice Principal *Who is VERY VERY scary* D:

CASE #2:

I was talking about UP's infamous Oblation Run that happens once a year.

Me: Why is it, that the nuns made our Mastery Test, the same day as UP's OBLATION RUN?! I mean, if I ran my own life, I'd be absent on that day.

Then, my ex-Music Teacher passed us by.

CASE #3:

I was cursing one of my friends for being such a pain.

Me: Asshole..

Then, our level's Facilitator passed by me.

It happens to me so often.

-.-

I had another interesting dream a while ago.

And- yes, this is going to be long again.

So, as I wait for 2 Ya-Ya-Yah videos to download.. I shall post the dream that I had.. 12 hours ago 8D

*Come to think of it.. last time I posted... I had the dream 12 hours before, too*

~ All dialouge posted, translated. Original dialouge: Tagalog, yes. TAGALOG. All of them spoke it -.- ~

After School one day, I went straight to my house by bike.

I was in Japan, so my house was a typhical Japanese house, with the wall in front and stuff.

I was riding my bike home when I collided with this big burly Yakuza-ish guy.

He snarled at me and removed his cigarette from his mouth and blew the smoke into my face.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, HUH?!"

Then he got my school bag from the basket permanently implanted in front of my bicycle, opened it and threw the contents on the ground. Then he shouted in my face. He smelled like Grape Bubblegum hehe.

"YOU'LL HAVE TO PAY WITH WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO MY SUIT."

He picked me up from the bicycle and threw me to the ground. I crashed down along with my precious bike. Then he picked up my fat Hello Kitty wallet.

And I just got my allowance, too.

I couldn't stand it anymore. Even if he was a gangster, Yakuza, whatever. I NEEDED the moneyyy *For a NEWS concert xD*. So, what I did was, I stood up, came in front of him and kicked his balls.

Haha, laugh all you want.

He clenched his lower region and stumbled to the ground, letting go of my wallet and crawling into the 'Human Ball' position. I quickly collected my stuff and fixed my bike. I ran over him after. Lol. Then I raced back home to tell my Mom everything.

She laughed like a hyena as she treated my knee scrape.

"You kicked his what?!" she laughingly said, covering her mouth politely.

I chewed a delicate Chocolate Chip cookie unladylike-ly and responded with an open mouth "I kicked his penis, yeah" *Yes, I said it very straightforward* Then, my Mom peed her pants of. *Which is kinda weird because she's such an aristocrat that I don't imagine her to do that*

The next day, I walked to school.

Stupid Yakuza supposedly flattened my tires with tacks. Idiot.

When I reached halfway, I stopped to buy Myojo and Potato from 7-11 and before I knew it, when I came out of the store...

"Well.. we meet again, do we?"

When I looked up, I SAW THE YAKUZA GUYYYY~!

It felt A LOT like Onigokko 8DD I started to run and I also started to see my headshot and the siren sounding when you're in trouble in that Survival Game. The Yakuza guy ran after me. Some part of me expected that I would be robbed, raped or perhaps.. be killed.

I ran, ran with all my strength until the Yakuza freak ran out of energy. I took a detour and went to my Middle School's *I was a Middle School Freshman already* Back Entrance. I reached the classroom 2 minutes late.

My bestfriend, Yoko *Shida Mirai lol.* asked me what happened. I didn't want to worry her, so I said "Bike... broke... down" between gasps for air. "Eh~ Is it OK already?"she asked, writing something in her notebook. I nodded. "Yeah.." then, I brought out my JE mags..

Shida Yoko dropped her mechanical pencil and stared at my recent purchases.

"Johnny's?!" she asked, smiling quite widely.

I nodded. "Read this." I handed her the Myojo and I opened the Potato. She nodded back and giggled. "Uwaa~ Yamada Ryosuke is so hot..." she sighed dreamily. I laughed. "Of course!" and I opened the agazine in my hands.

Then a gunshot rang across the school.

Everyone screamed.

I instinctively covered my head with my hands as I ducked down my school desk. Yoko did the same, still reading the magazine. My heart started to beat widely. Can it be-? The Yakuza guy? I slowly got up and looked by the windows overviewing the hall outside our classroom.

"WHERE IS SHE!?"

It was the Yakuza guy.

I panicked and got my bag and huddled close to Yoko. She noticed and huddled close to me, too. "A-Are you okay?" she asked me, still reading my magazine carelessly. I shook my head. "Yoko...don't freak out.. I know that voice..". Yoko looked at me."It's probably Umemura or that Captain of the Baseball Team again..".

Yoko didn't understand. The Yakuza gangster was shouting insults at a random teacher now.

Then, I decided to run away.

So, I got up and walked to the windows. Since the Freshmen's classrooms were on the First Floor, I had no problem- except for my street shoes. Yoko noticed me "Leaving early?". I stepped my left foot out of the window. "Yeah, give me back the magazine tomorrow, ok?". She nodded. "Sure"

Then I was gone.

I just had to get my street shoes. It was a hassle to wear school shoes outside of their disegnated area. People would stare at you and assume you're careless or stupid or whatever. I crept quietly to the Front Entrance and to the Shoe Lockers where I hurriedly took off my shoes and got my street shoes, placed them on the ground and put them on with my right hand while putting the school shoes inside with my left.

"YOU!"

*I half-expected it to be Johnny but it was the Yakuza guy lol.*

It was again, like the Onigokko Survival Game and I grabbed my bag and made a run for it. I passed the bicycle stands and grabbed one. The Yakuza saw what I did and imitated me. I pedalled as hard as I could, my bag dangling from my shoulder, I manuevered the bike with one hand as I got it off with the other.

The Yakuza was screaming like a maniac. I turned left, to one street no one could enter unless you were a girl.. or gay

The Official Johnny's Fanclub Office

8DD

*I know, it's cracked, but it's a dream~*

I parked the 'borrowed' bike and looked at him tauntingly as the faithful guards wrestled him down, asking for an I.D. Usually, the guards don't ask for IDs when you're a girl.. but this big fat monster was a guy.. so..

I stuck out my tongue, annoying him and making him scream more threats.

I sighed. Now, how could I get out of here without him mangling me to death... I walked around and looked at the stuff they were selling, mostly at the 'Sale' Section.

The Sale Section was awesome. There were retro stuff. Ocassionally, you'd see a Hikaru Genji or a Otokogumi CD. But the rarest ones were mostly Shonentai or Ya-Ya-Yah or the two suspended NEWS members' shop photos. I casually browsed along the aisle.

No one was there.

It was Monday, of course. Everyone was working. Sadly, no time for Gods Johnny's Talents.

So I wavered around, like a drunk old man, giggling to myself when I saw old KAT-TUN shop pictures. Then, a semi-ripped AKANISHI JIN AUTOGRAPH BOARD. I had to get it. Even semi-ripped. Autograph boards are heaven-sent. So, I grabbed it immediately.

What the hell was an autograph board doing in a Johnny's FC SALE after all? Even ripped, a signed Jin board could sell... at least 10,000 yen, for Tacchon's sake 8D. I continued and spotted a Jimmy Mackey uchiwa, promptly grabbing it, followed by a HaseJun uchiwa.

Then- the miracle...

NEWS' NewS NIPPON CD.

I screamed, supressing my tears. It was SO DAMN HARD to find stuff like these. Yahoo! Auctions, ebay, wherever. It was like finding a lost ring in a Department Store. I held it tight, muttering "Oh My Fucking God. Oh no... Ohno... Nino.. Ohmiya... OH MY GAWDDD." Yeah, somehow, the Yakuza idiot contaminated me.

So, I paid the 2 uchiwas, the Jin autograph board and the CD.

And it only cost me 8,000 yen.

And it got packed in a fancy 'Johnny's Official Fanclub' eco-bag.

I was so happy, I forgot about the stalker Yakuza.

I excited the building, dying of over-happiness when the Yakuza came up to me and snatched my newly-purchased goods. It happened so suddenly, I forgot to blink. Luckily, the guards saw it and hurried to chase the Asshole.

Now, I was really angry.

I tried not to cry as I got on the 'borrowed' bicycle and pedalled like a drug-crazed high idiot after the shithead. My bag shook in the basket from the power accumulated by the poor bike. BUT- it couldn't be helped.

IT WAS AKANISHI'S AUTOGRAPH NEWS' FIRST EVER CD AFTER ALL.

I finally reached the Yakuza and I got something from my bag that my Mom told me to use only in emergencies.

My stun gun.

Well, considering that Akanishi Jin's autograph and 2 ex-Juniors' uchiwas and most of all, NewS' 'debut' single was inside the eco-bag.. any fangirl in her right mind would use the Stun Gun. So, I pulled out the trusty every-girl's-bestfriend-while-in-trouble object, turned it on and shoved it to the lucky guy.

He shook vigorously and colapsed to the ground, I pulled on the brakes and the bike stopped, I rushed over and pulled my precious JE goods out of his greasy criminal hands. Then I sped off, off to nowhere. I didn't have the guts to go back to school anymore anyway.

So I went to this random park *Actually, the park in Koizora where Mika and Hiro 'buried' there baby D:* and sat on a bench for a while, reading my magazine lol. I think I was reading K8's 'Love Love Date' article when someone came up to me and asked for directions.

I looked up. A kindergartener.

Oddly, the little boy was looking for the 'Osaka International Airport' 8D I lived in Osaka for a while in that dream, so I kinda knew where. Since I didn't have time, I figured I'd take him there. But I asked him where his parents were first... just in case.

"Osaka" he said.

I kinda doubted him but I succumbed. He was cute, that's why. *He looked like a cross of Tegoshi and Hikaru xD wth.* So I took him to the Tokyo Station and made 7 stops until we reached Osaka. We got off and I got a taxi, went to the Airport. Total time: 3 hours.

The little kid bowed politely and invited me in the airport. Turns out, the kid was the son of the Airport's owner haha. And he was kidnapped and managed to escape his captors. He didn't know the way home and happened to see me when he exited the warehouse he was held captive in.

He saw my Potato magazine and remembered that a famous band featured in that magazine had shooting at their airport, so he asked me.

NEWS had shooting in the airport that day.

I almost freaked out, I tried to cram my 'prided' Johnny's Fanclub eco-bag inside my school bag, but to no success.. the uchiwas would only get ruined D: He said that they were going to arrive anytime so I stood nearby, getting free drinks from a Fruit Shake stand. Having such a cute and smart kid as an ally wasn't such a bad idea after all..

Then- 20 minutes passed and the little guy went up to me in his normal clothes. "Neechan! They're here!". I almost spat out my 100% Banana Milk Shake.

We went up to Gate 7 and there..I saw.

6 MEMBER NEWS SINGING ZUKKOKE OTOKOMICHI WITH CAMERAS AND LIGHTS AND STAFF AND CREW AND MAKEUP ARTISTS AND.... wtf. Akanishi Jin?! 8D

*too much of Jin xD*

Then, I fainted.

Then, I woke up.

Haha.

That was all... weird, I know.

MY HATSUKOI WAS ONLINE A WHILE AGO.

I FREAKED OUT.

OMG.

Hatsukoi: online ka ba?
Cindy: O.O
Hatsukoi: hello
Cindy: O.O
Hatsukoi: uh
Hatsukoi: hello
Hatsukoi: ?
Cindy: HIIII
Cindy: O.O
Cindy: BA'T KA ONLINE?
Cindy: O.O
Cindy: HOY
Cindy: BAKIT
Cindy: KA
Cindy: ONLINE
Cindy: ?
Cindy: O.O
Hatsukoi: cause may computer sa bahay ng tita ko
Cindy: AHH
Cindy: ok
Cindy: O.O
Hatsukoi: .bakit?
Cindy: wala...]
Cindy: O.O
Cindy: kakatapos lang ng family day
Cindy: o.o
Hatsukoi: ok kakatapos lang ng thanksgiving last thurs.
Hatsukoi: (american holiday)
Hatsukoi: i went to my tita's place and stayed for a few days mamaya aalis na ako sa bahay ko plus i ate turkey
Cindy: ahh
Cindy: ok
Hatsukoi: so.....
Cindy: so?
Hatsukoi: what now?
Cindy: i dunno..
Hatsukoi: what r u doing?
Cindy: ahh
Cindy: classified
Hatsukoi: w8
Hatsukoi: talk 2 u soon gotta go.
Cindy: ah
Cindy: k
Cindy: bye

OK.

I BURY MYSELF 10 FEET BELOW THE GROUND NOW.